(no subject)

[warthog9]

You know, driving for ~3hrs a day gives you a lot of time to think.... maybe I shouldn't be allowed to think this much. Since life has vaguely calmed down (I.E. I'm not quite working myself to death anymore) I've been taking stock, seeing whats left, where I'm at and how life is.

I'm looking around, and I know there is more to life than money, cars, work.... I think I'm sitting on a nasty conundrum of problems. I want out of this state but a lot of my friends are here. Argh I dunno just trying to figure out what I'm really thinking. I guess mostly I'm sitting here wondering....... jeez I don't know.

Honestly..... I still love her, and I know it. It's not a secret that I'm more than a bit stubborn, and well this wasn't completely unexpected... at least from me. I'm sitting here also wondering and knowing how do I go around finding someone else after her.

Wish I had all the answers here, unfortunately I don't. I don't know if anyone does, I don't know what to do at this point. So many things up in the air, so many different problems I need to solve and sort through in my life. It's going to be a bit before things settle down and out.

I know I'm not in a bad position overall, and things are generally going my way.... but there are things more important in life. Maybe a bit more sleep will help me.

...Sleep take me to oblivion let me dream not let me forget what I must no longer remember. The world is not as it has been, this is not the world I once knew, I now realize my own insignifigance.... what am I to do now...